So next time you find yourself facing these two options, make the right choice.

When it comes to funerals, people are often in a very different state of mind than at other times.  Much more reflective, more aware, more human.  Funerals remind us that life doesn’t last forever.  In fact, sometimes it’s cut short unexpectedly.

But then the funeral ends and we all go back to pretending that our jobs, hobbies, and politics actually matter.  And to some extent they do, but we lose hold of the perspective we had when we were sitting in that funeral service contemplating our own mortality.

It’s that very perspective that helps us see clearly what matters and what doesn’t, what things are worth worrying about and what things aren’t.  No matter how hard we try to trick ourselves into believing that this life will go on forever, the fact is that it won’t.

It’s funny how thinking about death gets you thinking about life.  What if we had more funeral-type conversations on a daily basis?  The ones where we wrestle with the real issues of life: love and legacy and eternity and all that jazz.  Enough about how many wins and losses your favorite team has or who’s leading in the polls.  Nobody thinks about that stuff at funerals, so why do we let it distract us for so much of our lives?

Cover via Amazon

The end of 2011 is upon us and as is often the case this time of year, many people, including myself, are looking ahead to 2012 with a sense that things don’t have to stay the way they currenlty are.  This can mean anything from eating healthier and exercising more, to spending more quality time with family and friends (and less time at work), to contributing to the needs of others in a more meaningful way.  Whatever the case, this year, like every year, is ripe with the potential for change (Chip and Dan Heath have written extensively on the topic of change in their book, Switch).

Here are a few things that I’ve learned this past year:

• Discernment: things are not always what they seem
• Trust: specifically, the value of trust in building relationships (i.e. you can’t have one without the other)
• Leadership: how not to do it
• Action: it doesn’t have to be this way

You don’t have to stay stuck.  Yes, the economy sucks and it’s easier to point fingers and act like a helpless vicitim, but the truth is that change is always possible.  Marriages can be restored, bad habits and addictions can be overcome, new (and better) jobs can be found, and life can be better tomorrow than it is today.

Here’s a good question to ask yourself: If you woke up tomorrow and your life was suddenly perfect, what would be different (thanks to Dr. Greg Stewart for this question)?  Once you have the answer to that question, work backwards to find the action steps that will help get you there.  Change never happens accidentally.

Here’s to a year of potential realized and meaningful change made.  I will be different (and better) a year from now than I am today.  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

If you believe this, your life should reflect it; if you don’t believe this, your life should also reflect it (integrity = living one’s values/beliefs).

Enter Christmas.  A distinctly Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Christ.  For Christians, Christmas is an appropriately big deal.  The only other event more important than the birth of Christ is his resurrection (aka: Easter).

Which is why I have a hard time understanding how so many people who want nothing to do with Christ can participate in Christmas.  They take the day off of work and buy gifts for friends and family and do all of the other “christmas” stuff, but they don’t realize that to miss the Christ in Christmas is to miss Christmas altogether.  Who celebrates something they don’t even believe in?  Am I the only one who finds that a little weird?  Wouldn’t it be better to return your gifts and go back to work?  Or better yet, to actually place your faith in the Christ who Christmas is about.  Now that would be a merry Christmas indeed!

I’d like to be remembered as a person who valued…

• Relationships – with my family and friends (quality over quantity), and with Jesus.
• Health – physical, mental/emotional, spiritual
• Growth – continuous improvement
• Passion – finding what I love to do and doing it with all my might (i.e. teaching)
• Simplicity – pursuing contentment; avoiding excess

Values are helpful in that they give you a filter through which to think and make decisions.  For example, if I was given the opportunity to make a lot of money in exchange for spending large amounts of time away from my family, my answer should be no (if I’m living my values), because this would violate at least two of my values – relationship with family and simplicity.  Without a clearly defined set of values, it can be very difficult to know whether or not you’re making the “right” decision.  It can also be very difficult to articulate why the decision you made is the right one for you.

Finally, naming your values will show you clearly whether or not you’re actually living the life you say you want to live.  For example, many people aspire to live by one set of values, but then actually end up living out something completely different.  Naming your values will show you how big the gap is between the two.

I’ll close with three action steps:

1. Name the values you’d like to be remembered for
2. Name the values you’re actually living out
3. Do whatever it takes to close the gap between the two

While this part of the Bible can be incredibly difficult for the average reader to get through, it’s so important that we understand why God goes into so much detail.  Simply put, He is perfect and holy and we (people) are not.  He desires a relationship with us, but in order for that to work, we must play by his rules.  But we can’t get hung up on the rules; the heart behind them is relationship!  In fact, the word tabernacle actually means “to dwell.”  God doesn’t want to be just “out there;” he wants to be with us (Emmanuel).

Which brings me to a blog post that I stumbled upon and shared with my class as we were wrapping up.  The title of the post is “Four Words That Change Everything,” those four words being: I am with you (the title of this post).  This is not only the message of the Pentateuch, but the message of the whole Bible.  God desiring to live in relationship with us and doing everything possible to make that happen, even sending his own son Jesus to die for us so that our sins might be forgiven.  That does indeed change everything.

It was a good reminder and a fitting end to our time in the Pentateuch.  Despite the laborious nature of the writing, when we understand the heart of relationship behind all of the laws and regulations, we’ll never read it the same way again.

Truth be told, no amount of marketing or hype can make up for mediocrity.  Similarly, something that is truly awesome often doesn’t need that much promotion.  So stop trying so hard to convince people that your product or organization is the greatest thing out there.  Chances are it’s not, and if it is, the hype will take care of itself.

One thing in particular that minimalism has had me thinking about is the concept of ownership.  It seems that most of us think that owning stuff is the key to success and happiness.  Whether it’s clothing and gadgets, a house or a car, ownership is what many people spend most of their lives pursuing.

But here’s the problem: ownership is a myth.  I am a Christian, but regardless of your beliefs about the afterlife, one thing is for sure: “…this skin and bones is a rental, and no one makes it out alive” (Switchfoot, Where I Belong).  Ownership seems to be our attempt to make this very temporary world seem much more permanent than it really is.  No matter how much stuff you have, you can’t take any of it with you.

When all is said and done, he who dies with the most toys still dies.

Leadership is when people follow you when they have the option not to.

If you have to resort to telling people you’re in charge, chances are you’re not.

The world doesn’t need more leadership; we need better leadership.

In the age of multi-tasking and maximum production, many of us have lost sight of the art of being present.  We attend one meeting while thinking about our next meeting; we work on Project A while worrying about whether or not we should be working on Project B; we eat lunch while returning phone calls and emails, and taste nothing.

Why do we do this?  Two reasons: 1) we’re too busy and 2) we don’t want to miss anything.  The plain and simple fact is that most of us try to cram too much into each day.  We see those around us over-scheduled and stressed out and assume that we should be as well.  It doesn’t have to be this way.  Say no more often.  Create margin.  Rest.

But what if by being present I miss something important?  In truth, the only thing we’re missing right now is the power of the moment.  Because we’re so busy (read: distracted), we’re robbed of the joys of today without anything to show for it.  Always being in the loop and up to date is over-rated.  Wherever you find yourself, be fully there.

At least lunch will taste better.